this new sprout
this radiating forever summer
Self inventory
new sprout/seedling
hello there old friend
nice to see you again
are you ready now, for the light
has the soil cracked and made room
reach up little love
familiarity
recognizing goodness
"old self"
I love the way that I eat
filling myself up
with a quickness
scared i might not get enough
I've got your skin under my nails
and your spit between my teeth
Sometimes I take hours
to open my mouth
some days i savor your laughter
like the rich treat it is
But others have not been so lucky
They've been a milkshake in the heat
a quick, fleeting, not-quite-enough love
And I've been drawing out sighs
swallowing kisses
Until all we are is empty
I'm trying
The worst part is the way you were tear soaked pillows and cancelled plans
The worst part was the way you let me take those tests in the dark before you woke
The worst fucking part is that now I'm trying to love someone else
And I don't know how to kiss in a way that will still make him smile in 5 years
I don't know how to measure out my love, my desires, and my sexuality
So I have a perfect recipe for happily ever after
I'm trying to fix this equation like it's the tangled web that we wove
I'm trying to change the way that I love because I am expecting him to fall short in all the ways you did and he's not.
The worst part about accepting the fact that my marriage was not capable of being saved
Is the fact that now I've cemented love to problems
I keep thinking to myself that I am loving in all the wrong ways
Fuck you for making me think that love can be broken
For making me think that the way I love is inherently wrong
Unresolved anger
