REAL

Let's get REAL. 

We're talking 'REAL men' and 'REAL women'. 

The World today is fascinated with defining what a person should do, how they should act, and how "we" would prefer them to look. People are so worried about not having control. It seems as if they can make up enough rules and file people into tight enough compartments, they can face others without insecurity and anxiety. One idea that seems particularly troubling to me is the idea of what makes a man a "real man" and what makes a woman a "real woman". I feel it is important to note that the idea of a "real man" is based on his emotions, his household role, and his masculinity. The bizarre part is that the idea of a "real woman" has nothing to do with the character, emotion, or ideals of a woman. A "real woman" is defined solely on her appearance. At this point, you should already be upset. People who perpetuate these ideas are not afraid to say to the World that a woman is nothing more than something to look at. These people are proud to put their spirited, talented, joyous little boys into all the sports they don't want to play because "that is what boys do". Quite frankly, these two phrases alone are responsible for breaking down a huge number of human beings. 

That being said, I would like to talk just about "real men" for a little bit. 

Real men have shoulders for your tears, hands to hold your heart, and two sturdy feet. They accept the role of caretaker and occasionally they need you to take that place so they, too, can hurt. Real men take great pride in the lives they lead. They fall head over heels in love with women..and with men..and then they treat their partners with respect. Real men will never raise their hands in anger or use their tongues to degrade you. Real men may not have wanted kids and they may not be ready for them, or they may have waited their whole lives for this moment, but they will love their children with every ounce of their being. They will go forth and conquer things that make them quake with fear and, if you're lucky enough, they will tell you all about the experience. Real men feel every high and every low their lives has to offer. How they choose to cope with and show those emotions is no business of yours. Real men is not afraid to admit that they're not good at everything. They will, however,  take great pride in the things they do excel at. Real men have hopes and ambitions. They may or may not need a little push to get them going. Real men have a right to choose their own preferences. Including, but not limited to: romantic and sexual partners, clothes, vehicles, jobs, and household roles. None of these choices will in any way add to or subtract from his "realness". 

Masculinity does not equal worth. Every real man is someone's hero.

Now we'll talk about "real women" for a moment.

Real women have arms to hold you, eyes to see into your soul, and a heart which is not always in their control. They are so much more than their bodies. Real women have a voice. It may be timid, or it may be sure, but it is there and it should be heard. Real women will get heartbroken. They will hurt, they will cry, they will hold grudges. They will also pick up the pieces as you fall apart, start a revolution, and show you strength you've never seen. Real women are sometimes a 00 and sometimes they are a 30. They may not fit in "conventional sizes" but that has nothing to do with their "realness". Real women don't let other people put limits on their dreams. Real women have the right to make decisions when it comes to their bodies. Real women sometimes do get abortions, have sex before marriage, use birth control, choose to have unprotected sex, get plastic surgery, or raise families of 5+ children. Real women will not use love as a ploy. They will not tell someone they love them if it isn't true. Real women will not hold your weaknesses against you or shame you for your misgivings. Real women will never make you choose them over someone or something else. Real women do not stand in the way of their own happiness. 

Size and worth are not mutually exclusive. 

"You do not have a soul, you are a soul. You have a body." -C.S.Lewis

This is a quote that I believe in very strongly. Each person is defined by the soul they have. If you are kind, if you are strong, if you are greedy or angry, these are all reflections of your soul; your being. I do not believe that being born in a male or female body has anything to do with whether you are male or female. A "real man" or "real woman" should have nothing to do with how you look to the outside World. This post does not cover every aspect of what it means to be a "real man" or a "real woman". To me, the only thing separating some of the population from fitting into these categories is their choice to not act accordingly. I hope some day we live in a World where there is no distinction. We should never have to clarify that you shouldn't beat your wife, humiliate your husband, or try to define another person.