Found this pile of brain vomit sitting here as a draft. Figured maybe it had some wisdom in it. I always have to laugh when I read something like this and it reminds me how to live. Like, I wrote this. Why am I only now being reminded?
I am a subscriber to the belief that things will always get better. I don't know how long it will be before I see improvement or how much more can possibly go wrong but first, but those aren't the important things. Life is going to be hard. In fact, from what I've seen, life looks for ways and reasons to get worse. I like to tell myself that this only happens because we are strong. We are capable of enduring the storm and then coming out the other side braver, stronger, and more full of love. We know all of the negativity we could hold in our hearts and we choose not to. We see the ruins ahead of us and we tell ourselves that the faster we run, the sooner we will be finished. Life is going to hurt you whether you figure out how to handle it or not. Life is not going to treat you better because you aren't ready for the pain that your name is written upon.
People who are so much better than you are going to die. You will beg endlessly for life to take it back. To take you instead because this person is too good to leave. You simply cannot imagine the sun or the moon ever rising again without this person there to hold them up. No matter how you wrack your brain you will find exactly 0 reasons why they should go and 0 as to why you should stay. You are going to swear to live right by them. You are going to promise them to never wish on a star without looking for your face in the constellations. You may take a lifetime to heal, but you will have to. I don't know why this happens, but it does. The only advice I can give is to treat the people in your life like this is inevitable-because it is. Love them so ferociously that you become afraid you are smothering them. Call them in the middle of the night just to say you miss them. Make time for them in your life. Do it while you can. Since hindsight is 20/20 I recommend videotaping your moments together and saving phone messages. These are the things you will miss most.
Money is going to try and control every facet of your life. Don't let it. Find a healthy balance between a job that pays the bills and a job you love. You will find yourself somewhere in the middle and, in my experience, you will find a way to pay the bills. Be in love with the World. The best way to kill time is to go outside and just marvel at the planet. This will always be there. It will always be free. It will always remind you what matters. Eat leftovers. You're going to have to do it eventually so just get used to them now. Some things are better the second day anyways. Stop holding onto all of your stuff! Some stuff you can sell and it's nice to hold those crumpled up bills. Other things you can donate to bring a smile to someone's face. Re-think the way you shop! If you need potatoes for one recipe, find another recipe that helps use up the rest of the potatoes instead of waiting until they go bad. Try buying one household cleaner and using it in your tub as well as your showers instead of buying specific cleaners for each area. Carpool, cruise down hills, and accelerate slowly. You'll find you enjoy these so much more when you work to afford them.
Illness is going to turn your life upside down. Maybe it's cancer, maybe it's autism, maybe it's diabetes. It is going to come for you or someone near to you so brace yourself. This illness is going to take you by surprise and leave you with nothing but questions. It may not be curable and it may be degenerative. Your insurance may drop you and your medicine may become absurdly expensive. If it happens to you, take care of yourself. If there was ever a time to take vitamins, eat your veggies, and take walks, the time is now. Not everything is preventable but you can give your body a fighting chance. If it's someone you love, just keep loving them. Don't treat them differently. Do spend more time together. If there's something their doctor is making them do to help like swimming once a week or sitting under a UV light, offer to do it with them. With your friendship, their healing will feel like less work.
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