Thanks.

Now that Halloween is over I can finally write about my favorite holiday...Thanksgiving!

My husband tells me on a nearly daily basis that I am the most particular person in the World. I guess that helps explain why my favorite season is Christmas season, but my favorite holiday is Thanksgiving. I'm not really fond of Winter all on its own. I think it's a drag to wear 10 layers to go outside...just to strip off 6 of them when you're indoors. Also, quite frankly, snow can get a little old if it lasts all Winter. There is a magic about the Christmas season that just puts it above all of the other seasons for me. I'll elaborate much more on that here in a month. For now let's focus on the glorious turkey day that is about to be here. 

First and foremost I want to say that this is not a cultural thing for me. I am Native American. I know the terrible things that have happened to my ancestors, but I choose not to dwell on such things. I have pride in my Native heritage and reading the muddied form of history that we pass onto our children sickens me. I would love to see historically accurate textbooks detailing the way the Native Peoples were treated. I personally prefer to hold these truths in my heart and mind on a much more regular basis than once a year. The fact of the matter is that the first Thanksgiving was a day of harmony. A Pawtuxet slave helped forge an alliance with the European settlers and taught them how to live off the land. A man who had already been used as a pawn to settlers was willing to share his knowledge with these strangers so that they could live and prosper alongside each other. This is a beautiful day and it should be remembered as such. 

I think part of my adoration for this holiday is the fact that it is under-represented. Since it is sandwiched in between the two noisiest holidays, people just kind of go through the motions. There's no set of carols, no costumes, no themed yard decorations. Thanksgiving has all but disappeared in a large number of households. If you ask most people what they are doing to celebrate, they will say they are going to see their family and eat. People honestly treat the holiday like it is just there so that they have to endure seeing their families and so they can eat until they bust. 

The main reason I love Thanksgiving is because it is the least self-serving holiday. It's not about having someone to kiss or buy you chocolates, it's not about being lucky, it's not about candy, and it's not about having the biggest present under the tree. Each holiday has a beautiful message behind it, but each holiday seems to be more about what you can receive than it is about what you can give. Thanksgiving is simply about giving, being, reflecting. First you focus on getting as many people in your home as possible. You want to see family, friends, neighbors. What a beautiful thing to want to fill all the empty spaces with faces of those you love. Then you prepare the food. You dig through family recipes, taking care to pack the brown sugar and sift the flour just like your mom, and her mom, and her mom did every year. How magical to take time to honor the great women and men of your family. 

The next morning you are up with the sun seasoning, massaging, perfecting the turkey for all who come. The skin is just right, the pan is just deep enough, and if you take care it will be juicy and salty just like your husband likes. Making food for snacking is always an afterthought, no matter how much you tried to remember this year. This is where your creativity really kicks in because there isn't much in your house that isn't for the great feast. The noise begins with children, with football, with the parade. Nieces and nephews circle your ankles, begging for a task to do. You try to catch every moment of the Macy's floats in between stirring, rolling, and baking. When the house has calmed and the oven dings, it's time for the best thing of all: giving thanks. Whether you each list one thing, or you compete for the most thankful, this is the true cherry on top of the holiday. Everyone is sitting, thinking, remembering all of the things that we forgot to be thankful for over the year. This is the time when we grow as individuals and as one patchwork family. We are all calm, we are all humble, we are all in awe of the lives we live and it is so perfect. 

When the feast is carefully placed around the table we are quick to add "this incredible meal" to our bottomless list of blessings. On each face is the gratitude of a person well-fed. Each eye twinkles with a knowing that it doesn't get much better than this. No one ever has words for the feeling in your heart when you're gathered around the Thanksgiving turkey. This time when everything just seems so full, so warm, and so good. It's a feeling we don't often revel in, and Thanksgiving gives us an excuse to do just that. 

I find it incredibly fitting that my husband and I wed on the day after Thanksgiving in 2010. This was the first holiday I spent with his family. It was the first time I had cooked a Thanksgiving meal. I had to learn recipes as I went and the task of making everything 'the Southern way' was just an added concern. I poured everything I had into that meal though, in hopes that it would show them. I wanted to show them that I already loved them. I wanted to say that their recipes and my recipes went perfectly together. I wanted to show trust in their advice. I wanted to scream and shout right next to them as we watch Auburn win the Iron Bowl, because I wanted it to always be just like this. 

Like all other holidays, the way people choose to celebrate can vary from home to home. Maybe you do a potluck so many family recipes are all brought together in a wonderful smorgasbord. Maybe you always go to one relative's house and eat solely your family's recipes. Maybe you watch the game instead of the parade and you drink beer instead of sparkling cider. All that matters is that we go about the holiday with the right mind set. We shouldn't feel forced into cooking. We should feel gladness in our hearts that we are able to share our hard work with those closest to us. We shouldn't feel burdened with hosting the meal. We should feel honored to bring all of the joy into our home. We shouldn't feel like we are boasting when we reflect and we shouldn't feel gluttonous when we feast. 

For one day, let us enjoy a little too much of something good. Let us take the time to interact with each and every person at the celebration because you are grateful for them. Let us remember that this only comes once a year and maybe this is the last time your aunt will pinch your cheeks, your nephew will draw on the walls, or your father will carve the bird. For once let us not take our company for granted. Let us not focus on the flaws of our family and instead focus on all of the things they bring into our lives. Gather around, get in too close, bump elbows with your left-handed neighbors, and soak it in. Spend all day and all night in good company and hold this in your heart. 

P.S. Please respect Thanksgiving by not playing Christmas carols 24/7 until the day after. I know it's painful. Trust me, I listen to Christmas carols all year but only when I am alone and cleaning my house. Just wait one more month to kill everyone with your Christmas cheer. Everyone will like you a little bit more if you follow this rule, too.